Music and Performance Enhancing Drugs

The link between musicians and drugs is the stuff of rock legend. Drug usage among musicians is as common as the cold. Did it start in the 30's with African American jazz musicians or sometime earlier? Who knows. Chances are the pharoah's favorite lute player was smokin' reef with the eunochs down by the Nile in 2500 BC.
These days, stories of drug usage by athletes dominate the headlines. From Barry Bonds to Roger Clemens, baseball's modern stars have shattered records and extended their careers through the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs. Nearly every sport is tainted by such drug usage, from the professional cycling to Olympic track to football and even golf! Whenever you see someone who has bulked up virtually overnight, you know drugs have played a part.
Musicians used to occupy a somewhat unique role as society's most conspicuous drug users. Who would've guessed that our professional athletes, of all things, would usurp this position?
Of course, the motivations are different. Musicians tend toward drugs as a form of escapism primarily, though it is undeniable that some of music's most sublime innovations would never have occurred without the influence of drugs. My favorite example is Jimi Hendrix who transformed himself from an ordinary musician into history's most creative, brilliant guitarist while under the influence of some divine yet ultimately destructive combination of drugs.
Athletes, on the other hand, use drugs to improve their performance and thereby generate more fame and fortune (ok, sometimes they party with them too). The recent use of performance enhancing drugs by athletes reminds me of the old Crossroads story in which Robert Johnson made a deal with the devil to become the greatest blues guitar player alive. He died young of an apparent poisoning thereby lending credence to the "deal with the devil" fable.
Modern athletes makes their own deal with the devil when they use steroids and human growth hormones. Their nuts shrink, their complexions go bad, their necks get thick and they become emotionally volatile. Quite a Faustian bargain.
Have you seen the new advertisement from Southwest Airlines where a corporate salesperson is being interviewed by the media and questioned about whether "productivity enhancers" contributed to his sudden success? Put on the spot, the agitated salesperson leaves the room in a huff, just like ballplayers do when questioned about their drug usage.
If I could take a pill that would let me play guitar as fast as Danny Gatton or bend strings like Stevie Ray Vaughan, would I? Let's see, I guess the answer for me is "It depends". If the downside is anything like the ugly stuff caused by the performance enhancers, count me out. There's a lesson for everyone in this, isn't there? We're all much better off if we genuinely accept what we have and if you strive to improve, do it the old fashioned way, with hard work and dedication.
In the meantime, I'll keep enjoying this modern drug-addled theatre for its high entertainment value. Nothing generates laughter as well as a reality-based farce.