Birther Blather

Will the real Republicans please stand up? Who are the real Republicans these days anyway? Certainly the Birthers number themselves as Republicans but many in the party are reluctant to claim them. And it's easy to understand why given that the Birthers claim that Obama was born in Kenya is supported by no evidence whatsoever.

It is satisfying at some level to see that the Republican ranks include at least some folks who appreciate how foolish one looks when they go public with something as outlandish as the Birthers do.

Maybe what happened in the 2000 election warped their brains permanently. Emboldened by Bush's success in being declared president after losing the general election and having his brother steal the critical Florida electoral vote, the Birthers must figure that every election is theirs for the taking. In their minds, I guess electoral success depends so little on actual voting and so much on gaming the system. Unless of course you are a Republican who actually won an election, in which case, no further inquiry is needed, a la 2004, in which the Democrats showed considerable discretion in not making a big fuss about the peculiar goings on in Ohio.

If the Birthers had any power, they would be truly dangerous. Oh, wait, some Birthers DO have power. Heaven help us.

Shame on mainstream media, Lou Dobbs comes to mind, for dignifying this non-story with coverage. Even the crazies at Fox thought better of it.

Consider how such controversies might be avoided in the future, from a Birther perspective. Apparently having a birth certificate coupled with a media announcement of a birth is insufficient to establish proof of birth in America. Better take away those Birther passports to safeguard against the possibiliy that they might be illegal immigrants.

I suggest that parents who aspire for their children to be future presidents arrange for live births to be videotaped, witnessed by at least two unbiased properly certified verifying witnesses and a lawyer or two.

What a great country this is. Between the Birthers and the screamers who like to disrupt community meetings so that we can't conduct public discussions about universal health care, it's clear that freedom still rings around here, but the problem is that the sound is generally inferior to that of silence.

Apple Changes Everything

Apples have always had a special appeal. Early on, it was the fruit. Going way back, in fact, wasn't Adam's inability to resist the apple closely related, in some obscure way, to his inability to refrain from dipping early humankinds ink into the well of Eve, or something like that? Shame on apples.

When The Beatles formed their record label, they called it Apple Records. Unfortunately, things didn't work out so well for the fledgling label. Turns out that in the record business, having the most popular band in the world is no substitute for having, well, I'm not sure what. Apple's A&R people signed James Taylor, for one, but they lacked the business acumen to make the enterprise profitable.

The Beatles spent plenty to make the Apple Store in London the coolest retail establishment on the planet, but that wasn't enough to keep things afloat, bottom line-wise. The Beatles were damn poor businessmen, and like most pop superstars, their financial fortunes were compromised by self-serving managers.

Despite insider exploitation, the swollen Beatles pie was sufficiently engorged to insure that everyone had enough to get by, and oddly, when Paul casually remarked to his friend Michael Jackson about the financial benefits of investing in publication rights and MJ took the advice, Paul was angered by Jackson's decision to act on his advice. Now, strangely, whoever prevails in the blood feud over Jackson's estate will own the publication royalties for most of the Lennon-McCartney musical library, an asset worth billions over time.

Now, back to Apple. Well, the record label has been dead for decades. But Steve Jobs' Apple grows stronger every year. And what started as a computer company now generates unbelievable profits from music.

Consider the strange journey of the apple. Among the fruit, vegetable, poultry and meat products on our planet, throw in the seafood, vegan and dessert food groups too, nobody can touch Apple. How weird is that?

As an Oregonian, I feel a special connection to apples. Some of the world's finest are grown in Oregon. And I feel a powerful connection to The Beatles, my favorite band of all time. And to Adam because, after all, who can't relate to his urgings to bite the apple, if you know what I mean. At the moment, I'm listening the Beatles Radio on iTunes, courtesy of Apple and I'm loving it.


Red on the outside. White on the inside. Full of sweet, juicy fruit. Beautiful to behold. Symbolic of so much of the best of our peculiar world, but like all superior things, partly flawed and in some ways perhaps more appealing because of it. Bless the apple.